i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
bring money and cleavage
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
