So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
