I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
