Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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