BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
