she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She needs sedatives and a leash
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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