you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
