yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
