Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
