Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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