'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
