So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
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