Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
