You made me cry and you don't even care
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
