Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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