She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
