it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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