its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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