You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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