You really coming over, don't trick.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
