was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
