And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
