Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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