I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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