its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I deserve this hangover.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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