one two three fourrrrnication!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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