garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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