obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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