The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
