If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
