Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
even my farts smell like vagina
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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