Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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