Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
