We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
