Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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