D3 body, D1 cock
he fucked my hip out of place.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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