you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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