it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize