He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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