Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
