i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
