I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
