Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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