Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
