He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
