Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
