my vag is so smooth its legendary
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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