Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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