Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
