I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
