Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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