In the future we'll all be gay
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
