went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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