Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
