he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
