so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
