it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
