Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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