i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
