So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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