just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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