I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Randomize
