do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My vagina is very pro this idea
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize