Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
