i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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